A couple things struck me as I was reading this piece. On page 2, the author says that "The head is the organ of exchange, but the heart is the amorous organ of repetition. It is true that repetition also concerns the head, but precisely because it is its terror or paradox." I thought this was particularly interesting when considering the effects of anxiety on the brain and on repetition and habitual/ritual behavior. I would say that I believe it is some sort of paradox that the logical brain, the organ of exchange of information, can be short-circuited and looped into itself in a pattern of repetition and obsession. As someone who has lived with an OCD diagnosis since age eight, I found this interpretation of the text extremely relatable. Repetition feels like a sort of yokel, like a creative death, if you have anxiety or OCD, yet some of the best artwork and literature comes from those who create obsessively and strive for perfection. It certainly is a paradox. The video response that I posted was of my mom whistling Mozart, and our pet parrot, Bogey, repeating and singing it back to her. If you look closely, you can see some of his anxious behavior towards the end of the video... he bites his nails and paces down the length of his perch. It is a paradox that the bird who sings such beautiful songs repeats not only beauty, but terror and anxiety. Pain, joy and art often go hand in hand, or in this case, claw in claw.
Since I fulfill the stereotype of the mentally disturbed Psychology major, of course I have taken classes on memory. I was particularly fascinated with how the author delved into issues of repetition in memory on page 7. The author is of the opinion that "Memory, then, perhaps recovers the particulars dissolved in generality." What I learned in my Memory class is that memories are constantly being reconstructed each time they are recalled. This is why eyewitness testimony is so notoriously inaccurate. The repetition of specific memories does indeed dissolve and morph memories into more general, loose, and even faulty versions of themselves, since they are changed each time they are recalled. On page 7-8, the author says that "It is in repetition and by repetition that Forgetting becomes a positive power while the unconscious becomes a positive and superior unconscious." Actually, forgetting is one of the most powerful functions of our brains. Movies like Limitless are actually extremely off-base. The idea that having access to all of our memories would make us better, more functional people (or birds) is entirely incorrect. Forgetting allows our brains to focus more on the information that we have retained, and allows our unconscious minds to avoid becoming overwhelmed. Forgetting itself is a repetitive act, as the brain purges irrelevant information from our working memory many times each day. Without this act of forgetting, we would be very confused and dysfunctional. So how do art and literature reflect this power of repeating our memories, and repeating the act of forgetting? For sure, documenting our feelings, aesthetics and creative urges somehow purges our minds, and blogging or looking back at our work empowers us to repeat the act of remembrance and improvement. Repetition has its place, as does forgetting, and difference. If you notice the way that Bogey sings, he is reconstructing the song that my mom has whistled to him. He does not get it exactly right each time, but he improvises and is certain of his vocal prowess. Forgetting allows this beautiful improvisation to take place, and repetition allows the song to be reconstructed. There is a feeling when a creature sings and makes mistakes that is not present in a jukebox that perfectly reproduces a song. As Elizabeth Bishop says, "lose something every day." Lose your memory, repeat the act of forgetting and lose your mind.
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